to my little work buddy...
yes, i’m talking to you. yes, you. i know it’s a big surprise for you because you are the one who is talking ALL THE TIME, but hey- you know what?today i’ve got something to say. do you know what i have to say?
SHUT THE HELL UP.
look, i’m a nice person. i love people. i try to as kind as possible in every situation. really i do. but i can’t go more than one minute without hearing a sound come out of your mouth. if it isn’t actual words or sentences, it’s “mms” or “hmms” or a “ha ha” (not even a real laugh- one of those fake almost non-sounds)… hideous murmers and deep breaths that literally hurt my own lungs to hear. i don’t know if it is your very, very large frame, or the fact that you just never learned how to close your lips, but seriously. seriously? stop. talking. now.
i honestly don’t care if you have to stop breathing momentarily to do so. just make it happen.